Genuine Grace

You know those moments in life that take your breath away? No not the ones like you see in the movies. The real moments. The times when you are so blown away by Gods grace, love, and mercy. It is also in those moments when you hit a low point and just feel like the walls are coming crashing down. Walls. Big fat brick walls. Sometimes I think we put up unnecessary walls all in good faith that we are protecting ourselves from being hurt. But sometimes. Those walls become a wedge from being wholly committed into something, into relationships, into community. In our Christian walk we have to take our walls down, put others before ourselves, and be completely vulnerable. Even if it means we get a few bruises along the way.

This week was a hard week. As many of you already know- I grew up in a 24/7 ministry home. Which means a fun night out was visiting someone at the hospital while dad prayed with them (while secretly I went to get a free soda pop out of the deal) or spending weekends at the church making photo copies or stacking chairs. I am pretty sure I have enough “community service hours” to cover the requirements of all the students at South Kitsap High School. We all know I am pretty skilled at these things. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. It has taught me so much about service but also about just being genuine and putting others before yourself…or well MYself. ;)   

This week I was so challenged in so many different areas. Let’s just say I am so excited this week has finally come to an end. The beginning started out great! My birthday- I was awoken to the greatest gifts of a couple throw pillows and a sweet bracelet from Porsche. She even made me a chocolate cake with the number 20 on it. I am so thankful for her she really makes this place feel like home so much more! I was soaked with water and a ground nut sauce…it was war. We spent the day travelling around the city, getting some local juice, and then out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant called Fang Fang. Sweet and sour chicken for my birthday dinner. So worth it.

As I sat around the table at dinner and people shared their life experiences with me I felt totally blessed. Being the youngest Mzungu around the table is such an honor- I loved looking around and hearing about life and just different opportunities God has given me to be a blessing to others.

We had a combination of mis-communications, lack of planning, and unforeseen bumps in the road this week. The car breaking down and smashing 13 people into a 8 passenger van. It was an adventure to say the least. Even down to the gas station giving us too much fuel and causing a delay in the days events. Not to mention it is so HOT here right now. As I am writing this I am sitting on my bed in shorts and a tank top with the fan blasted and my water that has been in the freezer over night. There is no escape.

I was listening to a sermon by Francis Chan about joy and I was challenged by some of his words.

Do you live with joy? Is that what you are known for?

Philippians 4 talks about rejoicing in the Lord and begins with the women of the church who are fighting and Paul is telling them get a long because there are more important things to be thinking about. The small things that are distracting you from what you are meant to be focusing on. I want to be completely focused on Christ. It is easy to get into a routine and to start pointing fingers or getting upset with all the little details in ministry. God is so gracious to give us relationships with other believers to show us these things and to bring to light all the things that frustrate us. I think yesterday was the most challenging due to the close of a long week. I am so thankful for the challenges and the struggles (only now looking back at them) because they have taught me so much about myself. I want my walls to come down and I want to be back to being open and vulnerable with my faith. I want to be so bold and have courage like David when he Battled Goliath. At the same time I want to have gentleness and confidence like Esther. I want to be challenged like Ruth. I want to be moldable. That is my prayer.

I am a word girl. I really enjoy taken words a part and looking at the true meaning of something. I like to explain things and talk through what I am going through. That is probably why I enjoy the time I get to sit down and write a blog. My word for this blog and for this season I am going through is genuine:

Definition:

possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real.

 

I think my favorite part of the definition is that is adds the opposite word in there. Counterfeit. What a great descriptive word. Our faith should not be a fake version of what scripture has called us to do. I want to be genuine. That’s how I want people to know my name by.

 

 

Synonyms:

§  Absolute

§  Bona fide (Good faith)

§  Certain

§  Honest

§  Legitimate

§  Positive

§  Pure

§  Factual

§  Sound

1 Peter 1:6-9English Standard Version (ESV)

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials,  so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory”

 

Though I have not seen Him, I love him. I want to be found at the end of a week such as this one we just endured singing praises and giving all the glory to God.

In the belly of the whale

 

Well it has been almost a whole week since returning “home”

I often got the question when I was visiting Washington, Do you miss Uganda? How do you divide your time? How do you leave your family and everything you know for such a long period of time? How do you know it’s what God has called you to do? Aren’t you ever scared?

It was hard to originally leave my family. Hard to be the first child to move away and in a BIG way. Often times feeling like I was almost …separating the family by moving to Africa. It was even harder this last time, for some reason there was just an extra sense of closeness. Maybe it was all those nights getting to be that cool big sister: laying in bed late at night telling jokes, talking about boys, and how hard that test at school was going to be. Or waking up in the morning after my dad had left and crawling in bed with my mom just to share about life and catch her up on what I was going through. Asking advice. And just sharing our hearts. It was the moments when I was spending time with my older brother playing music and singing for countless hours at night in the garage together. Watching my dad come home after a long day at work and just being able to be there in person. And an occasional disagreement here or there.

How could I leave such a supportive family for the other side of the world? Wasn’t I scared? I was giving up yummy warm mom made meals for rice and potatoes, long uninterrupted conversations for choppy in and out Skype calls, and looooong hot showers for a bucket bath. Sure, there are moments where I would give anything to be with my family. During those school awards or holidays. But what I am more scared of. What I am more afraid of missing out on what God has obviously called me to do, to walk away in disobedience to where the Lord has provided for me.

This week Empower A Child was asked to attend an help lead a children’s conference. The theme of the week was ‘Fishers on Safari’. We were asked to lead the kids in the story of Jonah. We acted it out in a skit. The kids loved it. As we acted out I was hit with this idea that often times we are so much like Jonah and we run from what God has called is. My favorite part of the story of is when Jonah realizes what God was teaching him after being taken into the belly of the whale:

2 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. ² He said:

“In my distress I called to the Lord,
    and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
    and you listened to my cry.
³ You hurled me into the depths,
    into the very heart of the seas,
    and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
    swept over me.
⁴ I said, ‘I have been banished
    from your sight;
yet I will look again
    toward your holy temple.’
⁵ The engulfing waters threatened me,^[b]
    the deep surrounded me;
    seaweed was wrapped around my head.
⁶ To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
    the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, Lord my God,
    brought my life up from the pit.

⁷ “When my life was ebbing away,
    I remembered you, Lord,
and my prayer rose to you,
    to your holy temple.

⁸ “Those who cling to worthless idols
    turn away from God’s love for them.
⁹ But I, with shouts of grateful praise,
    will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
    I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’”

¹⁰ And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

Verse 8 is my absolute favorite because it doesn’t need to be re said any different way. It is just how we should read it. I can’t cling to earthly relationships, food, or the comforts of being home. God has loved me so passionately. So much so that He sent his son for me. How could I ignore his calling in my life?

My life should not be lived in the belly of the whale but in the streets of Nineveh!  

It’s easy to feel this way when things are going well but the real test is when I am discouraged or feeling overwhelmed by the business of the office and working/ living in ministry. Walking through the village of Zirobwe after a long month away. I was so challenged to start working towards my goal for 2015. God has called us to have deep intentional relationships with other believers and especially in a ministry organization. To take the extra time to see what God is doing in individuals lives. I want to be so intentional with my relationships this year and see how rewarding it is to invest in lives of others. Take the focus off of me and what God is allowing me to have and rejoice in what God is doing in the lives of those closest to me!

How can you pray for me?

·         I would love to go to school and I am praying about what to major in. I am hoping applying for FAFSA so I can do online classes. I would like to start working towards a communications degree and maybe being a high school counselor. I know I want to work with people.

·         Pray for the women empowerment program with the prostitutes and the street ministry. A budget is being drafted and the Lord is already providing.

·         For the youth in Zirobwe that they would see Godly counsel and follow the Lords leading in their lives.

·         For the EAC team and everything that we are implementing in this new year. For all of the volunteers the ones that are here and those who are preparing to come.

·         For my personal study time. That I will always make time for that quiet time with God.

·         For Jackie (16) and Dora (7) my sponsored kiddos to see an example of Christ in me and that I will be able to mentor them with so much of God’s love. <3

 

Thank you for your continued support!

 

If you would like to send me snail mail or a care package with some of my favorite snacks I would be forever grateful and I am sure the Lord will give you extra blessings. Things like peanut butter m&ms, peanut butter crackers, chocolate covered raisins, fruit snacks, hot chocolate with marshmallows, hand written letters, and anything else.  J

Shannen Kennedy

c/o Empower A Child

P.O. Box 33273

Kampala, Uganda

 

 

Long Term Investment

Blog December 1st 2014

I cannot believe how fast the time is slipping out of my hands. To think that I have been back for as long as I was home completely blows my mind. To think of the impact this community has left on my heart. To recognize what the Lord is doing in my life is more than I can even begin to describe. December. A  month of celebration to the goodness of God for sending his only send to die for us. What a huge blessing and a weight that can only be described in one word: selfless.

These last two weeks have been incredibly challenging. The feeling of defeat has crossed my mind several times. Just feeling like I am not useful here or that I am just feeling like the fringe at the end of your favorite shirt. It is a feeling of discouragement.

At the same exact time as we were sitting in the van on our way home from church yesterday.  I was challenged by some of the girls to think about what it is going to be like to return home. That some day at some point I am going to have to say goodbye to this family. At this point I really don’t know how I could ever say goodbye to this community-  I am way too invested at this point and there is no turning back now. I love that I can walk down the red dirt (having not bathed for two or three days so literally looking like a Ugandan) road and be greeted from afar and just visit people homes and invest in lives.      I know I say that phrase a lot…”invest in peoples’ lives”

But really there is no better way to explain it. One of the most valuable things you can give to someone is time.  Interrupted only by other children and village people walking through to greet you.

I don’t know if I will ever be ready to leave.

2 Timothy 1:7English Standard Version (ESV) “ for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

I don’t know why God has given me a love for an age category that I completely did not enjoy. But I LOVE THE YOUTH. I am pretty sure that I spend more time with the youth than I do any other age category here. This weekend we had a youth conference in the village and had over 200 youth in attendance. It was a huge answer to prayer. This is the same youth conference that we had planned for in September but was postponed due to Tonny’s passing. Porsche and I really struggled with this event and there were several times we were just ready to give up but felt like God kept showing up and giving us the phrase ‘fill us up and send us out’ so we had three guest speakers We ended up going out one night earlier than the rest of the team because apparently you have to cook the beans a night before this which we didn’t know. So Porsche, Alex (Village best friend), and I went out there about 5 pm on a rainy afternoon. After one of the longest days ever. We had to take a boda ride a ½ hour into the village because the taxis stop at the town. It was dark by this point not a light to be seen except that od the other bodas and some candles in the town area. We hopped on a boda and the big machines had been working on the roads there was mud EVERYWHERE. Porsche and Tim at one point even fell off because the boda could not make it through the mud. During the freezing cold ride I looked up and saw what was one of the most beautiful nights that I had ever seen. After arriving in the village Porsche had and tim had a meeting and so I had to go with Alex to find water…in the dark. After getting everything situated we realized we didn’t have any firewood and it was late in the night and there was nothing to be done. Needless to say I was done with that day. The four of us prayed that the Lord would protect our hearts from being defeated. The following day.  Food. Games. Worship. And an abundance of God’s goodness. We had one young girl named Sophia give her life to Christ and Porsche and I got to walk her through those steps and praise the Lord for her life at the end of the service.

I have no idea what to write about right now.... How is it that I have so much going on in this life of mine but I have nothing and everything to say.

Giving… Something we absolutely take for granted sometimes. This week we got to spend time as a time as a team and share what we are thankful for. It was a beautiful evening full of so many different cultures: from Uganda, to the UK, to Korea. All different people being able to participate in a special day and just enjoy time in conversation and fellowship that is different to anything else we do here. Thanksgiving. We had a turkey that was only a bit smaller than a chicken, lots of good food though. Homemade stuffing, jello, and even pumpkin roll- that one was a first for me but I will definitely be carrying it to the rest of my Thanksgiving meals. We had the opportunity to share thanksgiving with some of our favorite kiddos from the village. They were so confused why we would make SOO much food on one day but they enjoyed it so much. Not only did they get to experience that but we got to go to the cinema and get ice cream for the very first time. You really take those first moments and experiences for granted and don’t realize how important they are. ;)

As the holidays approaches and people begin to return home I was hit with the feeling of an emotion that I don’t want to lose. There is always a constant flow of people here in and out of the organization for long periods and some for just a short two weeks. As I build these relationships I think to myself ‘Am I becoming callused to the emotion of loving someone completely and accepting them for just who they are?’ As I laid in bed one night battling with that subject I felt a sense of encouragement come over me. That the answer to my question was a BIG no. Not only does God provide for those moments and each relationship, but He has been preparing me for this for my entire life. I think back from when I was seven and we had our first foster child move into our house. That I would have to share my home, my parents, and worst of all my toys… J But not only was I so excited to have a temporary sister I was always more excited to see them go on to a better and bigger situation. Not realizing then that he was getting me ready for a greater task at hand loving these volunteers and being used by God to encourage them as they are in a transition period of their lives in most cases. One of the most beautiful parts of being a volunteer coordinator is being there through every stage. Watching these young people come and learn so much about Christ. Not having any clues what is next for them. Almost all of the volunteers I have seen come through have some plan that has come together since being here.

Today was a surreal day. I went through all of my suitcases and re packed them with the things that I am going to be taking home. Just to think next time this week I will be waking up in my own bed and writing a blog from the other side of the world. Excited to be used as a vessel for Christ. If any of you know any volunteer work that I could be involved in please let me know! I am really hoping to make it to the cancer ward at children’s in Seattle. So ready to share what God is doing in my life!

One week. ☆

Pain

1   .  Pain

[ peɪn ]

noun

noun: pain · plural noun: pains

1.    1.  highly unpleasant physical sensation caused by illness or injury:

2.     2. is an unpleasant feeling (a suffering) of a psychological, non-physical, origin

I want to share my heart, which I tend to do quite often. Sometimes the words I type on this page are just a handful of letters grouped together to provide you with how I am feeling. I am not sure really to explain these things I get to experience here and I am not sure how to explain Gods goodness here either.

I want to share a story about young girl whose heart has been broken beyond earthly repair. (I have omitted her name for her sake) This girl has trusted me with so much of her memories and I want to help her carry this burden. When she was 13 years old. She was walking in the night with one of her close friends and they came across a handful of boys who confronted the girls about supposed money they had stolen. The girls did not know any of the boys. They grabbed the girls arms and took them into the moonlit night. They told the girls to undress and one of the young girls managed to escape in this time. […] was raped that night and her confidence completely destroyed. As the boy finished he looked her in the eyes and asked her if she knew he was. She responded no. As they ran into the darkness, she ran as fast as she could and found her way to the nearest school and found shelter from a young boy just until the sun came out. She doesn’t remember anything about that boy except the kindness he showed her that night. She shared this with me one night sitting in our living room and we both cried. She is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met both inside and out. She told me that she does not feel beautiful and that I shouldn’t tell her that she is. Because she knows shes not. I have been spending a lot of time at the court and giving emotional and spiritual support to the best of my knowledge.

Not only did this boy take away her dignity but he stole a piece of her that she will never be able to get back. She is so beautiful.

How can you listen to someone who has gone through something that traumatic and walk away and do nothing.  I don’t want to be dramatic in any way but my heart is so heavy for this girl who will never have the same opportunity to have self confidence in herself that she would have had before.

Recently I read an article about being a missionary right where you are. The author of the blog really stressed that we have a responsibility to reach out and stay put where God has placed us. For those of you who do not get the opportunity to experience long term missions across the globe. I can totally understand that view point and how it is pivotal to let God use you wherever he leads you (or keeps you for that matter). Being on this end can sometimes get a bad rap. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have heard the phrase, “Do you know that God can use you in Port orchard?” or “Everybody goes to Africa, why don’t you pick a continent in need -that doesn’t have relief” But I am here to tell you that God is using me in Port Orchard in the same big way that he is using me here in Uganda. AND that both Uganda and Port Orchard need the same Jesus. J I know that Gods timing is completely perfect. Many of you know that I had full intentions of graduating high school and heading off to Grand Canyon University and getting a nursing degree and changing the medical field one patient at a time. What I didn’t realize is that was my plan and not His. 

     

     I would never have chosen to share a room (As I shared all during my childhood), sleep on a mosquito netted bunk bed, and live in a ministry home 24/7 (Been there. Done that. being a “PK”). But at this point I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be anywhere else. From the moment I landed back on this place I call home- I have been given opportunity after opportunity to love in ways that I would have never expected. EVER. Between loving Tonny and spending everyday in the hospital to putting all my effort into this court case- I have been so blessed. I know that phrase is overused. But we need to realize that the Lord sometimes blesses us in small ways to and it is our responsibility to watch out for them and keep them in our mind for the times that are hard or when we are struggling with knowing what He wants us to do next.

     I have always struggled with the Jr. High age. Even when I was in that stage I struggled with myself! I didn’t know who I was. I was finding out who God was to me. Like every other Jr. Higher I tested the line. Since being here my heart has changed and I have seen God use this age category to grab my attention and teach me how to love unconditionally. I have received many letters and emails from young girls from home asking questions or just encouraging me about being here and they have become a huge source of help in times I am feeling discouraged. Three teenagers that have changed my life in a way that I cannot even put to words. I love that I can be sitting in my room and get called out from the hallway and it will be Edgar (The 15 year old sponsored kiddo that lives with us) to tell me about his day at school or to spend time studying for exams or he will come home from visiting his mom with photos or a sweet message for her.  The input I have been able to give is enough to fill my heart for the rest of my life. It has left me with challenging others- Even though you don’t live in Africa. Go out. Reach out to the youth around you. Be a positive role model in their lives. Take them out to eat. And challenge them. If we each took the time to mentor someone who is one step behind- imagine the impact we could have. Or even just time to reach out to our communities.

       This week I got to watch somebody experience pain like I have never seen before. It looked almost as if she was being tortured. Porsche, my sweet friend from the UK, who is volunteering until next November had a tooth ache. She knew her wisdom teeth were coming in. We went to this small office that consisted of one dental chair because you know. TIA (This Is AFRICA). What should have been a 30 minute tooth extraction turned into a 3 ½ hour molar and wisdom tooth extraction. Needless to say….I love the dentist in the west now. I hope to never have to endure that pain. The power was out in the office so they had to take it out without a drill. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that she felt. Several times she would clench her fists and kick her legs. At one point I was praying for her and I was going to put my hand on her leg but I was too nervous I was going to get kicked. Halfway through she called me into the room to ask what she thought I should do all I could say was to keep going. After both teeth had been extracted she just cried. (I know I am allowed to tell you all of this because she posted it on her blog too: http://somuchmore2.wordpress.com/ )

What does the bible say about pain?

It appears over 70 times.

In some ways pain is a good thing. Believe it or not. If a young child never felt the burn from a hot stove or the pain we feel when we step on a lego (you all know what I am talking about)- we would never know that we should keep from doing those things because they can cause long term problems like a bad burn or just uncontrollable anger for the lego/ breaking your ankle from just the pure shock. James talks about considering it pure joy when we encounter various trials.

Job becomes closer to God. We become more mature. It helps us become more refined (Isaiah 48:10). It teaches how to show compassion and to comfort one another during their times of pain.

Revelation 21:4English Standard Version (ESV)

⁴ He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

I don’t know what God is trying to prepare me for. I don’t know what my future holds. I don’t know what he even has in mind for me while I am here in its entirety. All I am sure of that he wants to use me every day in each of the communities we go to. In every conversation I have. I want to learn from the pain I go through and I want to use it to help others. <3

Brutal Honesty

I'm going to just take a moment to be brutally honest.

Maybe I should use different words.

Those pretty much make the most sense though. I want to put all of the dirt on the table and you can see for yourself...

...that sometimes this is hard.

Even though the blessings that the Lord provides for me to encounter- everyday- out weigh the bad moments. There are still a lot of things that come up that are not so amazing about this life.

I still live on earth. And I still work with humans. Humans that have grown up in a completely different culture than me. That makes our conflicts twice as interesting as yours. I guarantee it.

I am going to tell you the truth in this post.

1. Using a mosquito net is like making the decision to shave your legs. 

While you have all the intention of following through and doing it every day- there are just some days that you don't get around to it. And that's ok.

2. Not every project we do is absolutley incredible and life changing.

Sometimes I have to do things I don't want to do. Whether it's laundry that has been pooped in or thrown up on, or sharing with a group of kids in a hot room that are all giggling.

3. A boda - boda (motorcycle) just goes so much faster sometimes...and so much cleaner than taxis.

Mom, you should probably cover your eyes for this one. When you know the traffic is going to be bad and it will take you two hours to get somewhere 15 minutes away. You are willing to take that risk. That is until you get stuck in between two cars and my knees are hitting against people's doors. It's one of those "seemed like a good idea at the time" kind of expirience. Taxis smell gross here. There have been many times i have rode in one with the seats unscrewed from the floor and a chicken flapping around.

4. Rice and beans. Peas. Potato.

Usually before lunch we will all guess what we are having for lunch and there are many times it's rice and beans. Sometimes it's a mountain of peas. It's hard to eat the same meal all the time. Think of everything you can make with potatoes and that's what we make. Carb loading every meal. (That's why I brought a suitcase full of snacks)

5. "Cultural sensitivity" aka MZUNGU

No matter where you go here....you will be called mzungu. Because you are white. I have learned the equivalent word in Luganda which happens to be MDUGAVU. Sometimes when I am done hearing the phrase 'marry me mzungu' I will say a phrase back using the equivalent word. :)

6. Lifesaver vs. Power

Your fan is your best friend until the power goes out. Which seems to happen when it is hottest. Sometimes I will literally be preparing to skype home or watch a movie and the power just stops. It doesn't care what plans you have previously made. It just shuts off. That's when you start to look around at your house mates and pull out your creativity. Most of the time it's after it is dark as well.

7. Repetition.  What?

Some words we say in the states are not so much the same here. We have lots of phrases which I use in my sarcasm that just don't add up to some people here. I constantly find myself repeating comments over and over again and then just giving up. You don't say What unless you want to fight. You say yes please?

8. Chicken, turkeys, children....

These are the three culprits that wake me up at the crack of dawn. Not a morning goes by that I don't hear the gobble of the neighbors (all 10 of the turkeys) that live next door. They also have a dog named Simba. Everytime we walk through their yard to get to the local grocery store. Especially when it is dark outside. Simba likes to pretend that he doesn't know us and barks like he is going to attack us. Gives us a mini heart attack every time.

9. Time.

Nothing seems to ever happen on time. It is just Ugandan culture. That everything has its own season. For our bible study for example.  We have an arrival time of 5:30 meaning people leave their house at 6:00 and arrive a half hour after leaving their house.

10. The future that holds the unknown. 

As we work to achieve so many goals and as the ministry grows and we continue to see things change. There is still so much unknown. So many things that I am uncertain of. It's exciting and frustrating to not know what tomorrow looks like.

These are just a few of the things that I struggle with being here. God is so faithful to bring us to and through anything. I would not trade this life for anything in the whole wide world. I will eat rice and beans for the rest of my life if it means serving God in whatever capacity possible. Often times we challenge God that to fulfill something in our lives before we are willing to surrender and serve him whole heartedly. Thankful to be where I am and serve in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Philippians 2:14-18 ESV

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.

Rejoicing in the fact that my saviour chose me to spend my days in a place I never thought I could go. Giving me an opportunity to reach so much farther than I could have dreamed. And loving deeper than anything I have ever known. Even in the midst of failure I will serve the Lord.

These are just some of my 2 am thoughts. Thanks for listening. ♡

The city of 1,000 hills

God has given me so many things to fill my time in the last few weeks that I am not sure even where to start. The week after Tonny passed away was hard. Emotional. I can say that I had really hi moments and then would just hit a wall and cry. Every once in a while it hits me. Sometimes in the weirdest of places. It still gets me everyonce in a while. BUT I am more happy than sad now. I am so thankful that I got to love him so much. I would love to see his name live on and just see people be made aware of child cancer and encourage a healthy living environment. Firstly I want to start and i<3Tonny foundation. I am not sure what that entails. Stay tuned though. You won’t want to miss this. I want to see clean running water come to his village and then I want to see things just grow from there.
The week was filled with several school visits. We went to two separate primary schools- some that I had never visited before. We got to lead praise and worship, scripture, and a fun game. We also brought a soccer ball as a gift to share with the school. We tried to teach them how to play freeze tag there were probably 175 kids (I am horrible at guestimating and anyone here could tell you that was probably the actual number) that’s what it felt like to me. This is the same school that Tonnys’s younger brother, Kenneth, attends. We got to see him and give him some love. As we drove away the kids ran…I mean RAN after the van. For a long time. Waving and saying goodbye to the mzungus.
I got to go to court this week. It was very interesting. I have never sat in on trial. Not even in the states. It was very interesting. All the criminals were just seated on the benches right next to us. No hand cuffs or anything. Just a couple guards sitting with them. It was a simple day and the air rustled was so soft and quiet. There were so many people there and yet it was so quiet.
Saturday we got to visit Christines home…finally. It was adorable and I would LOVE  to get a place just like it or maybe even the one right next to it if I end up staying longer than two years. We just spent time fellowshipping together and enjoying eachothers company. She made a us a huge lunch and she knows all of my favorites so it is easy to say that I was totally STUFFED! We went to Watoto in the evening and heard a beautiful message on loving your country and just having pride for the place that God has allowed you to live. I love church. I always leave feeling completely encouraged and blessed. Just reenergized for the week.
We have had a lot of office days in these past couple of weeks. We just had a 2015 budget day and went through month by month and got to be a part of all the planning and implementing ideas for next year. Lets just say it was a long day. J
 Rwanda 2014
Thursday evening we hopped on a bus around 4:30 pm and away we went. We got to sit in the seats right behind the driver. it was awesome. We had lots of snacks and we were ready to go. Porsche, Victor, and myself went. I was so nervous to make it to the boarder I am always nervous they are going to kick me out of the country and never invite me to return again. I was anticipating it the whole way. When we got to the boarder I realized I had left my jacket at home—it was FREEZING. There is an exit office and then you have to walk like a ½ mile in the cold to the entrance to Rwanda office. It is super dark outside and people that are trying to get your attention and to get you to exchange your money (and probably cheating you). I thought this was weird they have people that sit along the way and just make sure that you  are going where you are supposed to. One group of guys saw that we were taking in a couple grocery sacks that were carrying our snacks and things. They made us throw them away and buy paper bags. Rwanda doesn’t allow plastic bag into their country. They have two reasons: they think it clutters the streets and they want to be more environmentally responsible. Good for them. Just thought that was a strange thing that we couldn’t bring them across the border. When we got to the entrance office we had to go over to a doctor and get our temperature taken just to make sure that we didn’t have Ebola or a temperature of any kind. I was cleared in case you are wondering. I always try to be overly friendly so they don’t take too much time staring at my passport and considering throwing me out of the country. I don’t know why the immigration office intimidates me so much. After Porsche and I went through the line the guys asked Victor how he could get one of us. This after the fact that he asked me if I was in high school. Total creep. He also asked me what I was doing in Africa and why I didn’t miss my home and my family.  After the boarder we started making our way into the city of a thousand hills….that is not even an exaggeration. Some very windy roads. I thought I might be sick. We made it to the bus park about half past two in the morning.  As everyone quickly grabbed their things and exited the bus I looked at Porsche and Victor. We all exchanged the same look. Where on earth are we going to go this early in the morning? Somehow we had the intention of arriving at about half past six in the morning which was obviously not the case. As one of the last conductors was getting ready to leave the bus and he looked at us and said you Mzungus should just stay on the bus because if you get off the will take you. That was enough for me. So we curled up with our bags underneath our arms and fell asleep several times in the night I heard people knocking on the door and trying to open it but it had been locked. I totally freaked myself out! Before our bus set off in Kampala they opened with a word of prayer. This is something that you would NEVER hear in the states. Starting a journey by praying together. I LOVE Africa. The bus driver came back to the bus around six in the morning to check in on the bus and found us sleeping there. He started talking to us and just asking us about what we were doing in Rwanda and then asked if we had a place to go shower and just freshen up. He offered to let us get ready in the hotel room that the bus company rents out for all the drivers/ conductors. We went. The bathroom was disgusting- it was obvious that only men lived there. The sink and the toilet were broken and just not taken care of at all. Victor and Thomas (our bus driver) went and got us water from the pump and a basin and we got to start our day fresh. He shared with us his life. That he has been driving buses for 8 years and he is from Kenya and that he hasn’t seen his family for over a year because he gets no leave of absence. I don’t know what we would have done without him, he took our bags and kept them at the bus office because he knew we weren’t getting picked up until later in the evening and that we were just going to do some site seeing. Best customer care service I had ever encountered. Porsche wanted to get some airtime for her cell phone so that we could call our host and let her know we had arrived safely. She had to work for the day so she was going to come get us when she got off. We went to the MTN phone store to buy a new SIM and we met some incredible young people and we told them what we were doing and we wanted some tips on where to go. They gave us a whole list filled with numbers just in case we got stuck anywhere and they gave us the prices of what things should cost. It was such a God send. Even though it was only like 10 am we had already met so many incredible people and I really don’t think we could have had any better help.
We headed over to the genocide museum. The resting place for 250,000 victims from the 1994 genocide in Kigali. It was very surreal and a very educational museum. Lots of artefacts and testimony of what happened and how it has affected people’s lives even up until today.  Clothing of people who were buried alive in, skulls with head trauma and bullet holes, and just story after story. There is one story that really sticks out in my mind. There was a big church in Kigali that many people were trying to hide and find refuge in and the pastor of the church was the one that gave the orders to a bulldozer outside to take down the church with all the people in it. Just the devastation that the genocide brought just goes beyond what my heart can reach. We walked through the childrens wing and it had photo after photo that family members had brought in and then a short bio about some of the children including their last words and how they were dead. Not only were these innocent people being killed but they were  tortured. Many people “hacked by machetes” It is just hard to imagine. Later that day we headed up to a big park called Juru Park that looked over all of Kigali. As we stood there we just imagined all the devastation that hit this place twenty years ago and what it would have been like to be standing up there when everything was going on.
That evening when we got to the home we were staying in we got to share our hearts and our vision with the family. John and Gladyis they both are pastors at a village church on the top of mount Kigali. They have four girls and then have taken in two young girls to be maids and to give them a small income at the end of each month. It felt like home immediately. Such a sweet family and it was a blessing to get to be a part of their lives and I cannot wait to go back soon!
We got to see a couple of local markets and just sight see around the city. It was a beautiful city. I am so thankful for the time I got there. I know that God is going to take me back to that place again sometime soon. Even though I love travelling and I love new experiences… I still love coming home to Uganda. I missed this place. I missed the people. The relationships I have with this team are just beyond words and I am so thankful for the family I have here. I know that God works all things together perfectly. I get to be a small part of that. I see the fruit that he is producing in people’s lives around me and it fills my heart with so much joy.
Please continue to pray for the work that the Lord is doing here. That his name would be praised in every aspect of this ministry. That we would be able to have uncontainable contentment. That we would seek God first for new joy every morning. To thank him for the little things. To find our strength in his arms and to die daily to ourselves.
***Also I think I am having allergies. I have these itchy red bumps all over accompanied with some sneezing that makes me feel like my head is going to pop. We are headed to the village this week. I am hopeful that it will clear up.